Tuesday, May 18, 2010

i dream about suicide a lot. it's become more frequent and while i thought that i could be depressed, dreaming about suicide is becoming a lot to handle. i dont know who to talk to or explain this without people getting worried.

im sad, im sad every single day. i dont want to be in this situation. it weights me down. to be around this bullshit is intolerable. being in my skin is intolerable.

i'll fail at everything i'll ever do.

Friday, May 14, 2010

You are trying to prove to others that nothing can really affect you. You are pretending to be stoical - indifferent to pain or pleasure and indeed even superior to any form of weakness. As a result, more often than not, you unfortunately act with undue harshness or severity by adopting an autocratic and self-willed attitude.

You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.

You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.

Stresses resulting from a recent disappointment have led to considerable trepidation. It would seem that there seems to be so much left undone. Everything surrounds you with that air of uncertainty. You badly need to feel a sense of security and whatever it takes to protect you against further disappointment. At this particular time you doubt that things could be any better in the future but you are sticking to your guns and refusing to take advice from any source.

You are presently worried about your future and you feel that whatever you do will go wrong. At this time you are your own worst enemy. All the disappointment that you have experienced, coupled with the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals, have led to anxiety. You would like recognition and a position of trust but you are concerned that these hopes and dreams may not be realised. You are very argumentative and insistent that you are right - maybe you are - but you are pushing too hard. Take it easy, let go, and smile. Smiling and agreeing with people works wonders - try it and see.

Monday, May 3, 2010

i rant here because no one reads this.

you annoy the fuck out of me. i'd like it if you fell off the face of the fucking earth and didn't come back. you need to wash off all the pretentiousness you walk in and keep from breathing. you have the potential to ruin my time up here. get fucked you over washed pretentious scum fuck. oh and you can take her if you like her so much. I can't seem to get through to it anyway.